Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
They took my balls.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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