he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
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