i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
only you would photoshop your dick
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
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