i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
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