haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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