I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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