Will you blow on my dice?
that's an acceptable place to lick
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
