I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
there is puke in my bra ... again
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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