"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Another day, another engagement, another cat
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
