dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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