no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
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