I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
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