Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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