There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
