He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
