she kept yelling 'call me bella'
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
