I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Randomize
