I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize
