Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Randomize
