question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
