and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
A+ Viking dick
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Randomize
