i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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