It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
