i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize