HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize