he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
