I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
