his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
