I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I hope mine doesn't look like that
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize
