I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Randomize
