Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize