Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
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