So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Boobs speak an international language.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
