Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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