No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Randomize
