I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
COCAINE IS GR8
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
