I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
