so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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