From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
