Whod you bang
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
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