does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
