is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Randomize
