I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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