I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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