Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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