they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Randomize
