there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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