Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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