Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
