I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
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