have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
