I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
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You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
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What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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