I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
they're like a gay fantastic four
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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