If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
