what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
