his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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