Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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