Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
