Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
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