I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Randomize
