pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
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