U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
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