Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Randomize
