Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
