feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
