she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Randomize
