help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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