She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
In the future we'll all be gay
i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Randomize
