Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
