I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
