Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
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