I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
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